September 24th, 2009
If you find that you are moving through a succession of failed relationships, and that fear and anxiety is blocking you from entering fully into emotional and physical intimacy, or that the relationship is defined by physical intimacy alone, you need help.
You may have sought couples or marriage counselling and find that despite learning about relationship skills you cannot come closer to your partner, you need trauma counselling either before or alongside relationship counselling.
Adults who are sexually abused as children have reported anxiety, nightmares, and suicidal ideation. They are likely to experience strong emotional reactions such as guilt, anger, and disgust. Although childhood sexual abuse affects both genders and is equally devastating for both, the majority of cases I deal with are women. This is not to say that all women are seriously affected in later adulthood relationships. Many women do not report serious difficulties later on but only marginal effects. For these women, the support of family and friends is helpful especially as it relates to affirming their innocence and self-worth, and to their acceptance by loving partners.
However, for many women, their relationship with men suffers from lingering destructiveness, especially in the case of incest. These women feel isolated and do not trust easily. They become sexually active early on in life as they have been “sexualized” at too young an age, and may even become promiscuous.
Consider seeking a counsellor who specializes in both fast trauma relief as well as building healthy, connected relationships.